I was challenged by a friend today to write more of what I am learning from this whole experience.That is a good challenge for me because I feel like I am just trying to survive each day...and maybe thinking about the whole thing would give me a better perspective.
Today I was hoping to go to the temple, but I had some more diarhea problems, so instead I spent the day in bed, and got back on the antibiotic. This seems to really wear me out, so I mostly just slept. This C-Dif infection that I have is what wears me out so much. I get frustrated by the ups and downs, because it seems like I am getting better...and then I have another set back. I guess that may be one of the lessons I'm supposed to be learning--to have patience during this whole ordeal, and take what comes with more trust in the Lord. I guess I would like to "call the shots," and have things go the way I would like them to. It is not easy for me to submit to the will of the Lord, because I want to do things my way. Maybe I'm going to keep having these setbacks, until I start learning how to really let the Lord lead the way in my life. Many people tell me that I have faith, but what I really need to learn is to have more faith in the Lord, and that his will will be the best thing for me, what ever that may be. Love to all, Louise
Louisa, thank you for sharing these thoughts. I imagine we all struggle when you have setbacks because we all just want you to get better!
ReplyDeleteThe things you expressed sound a lot like Proverbs 3:5-6
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.
"In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths."
I love these verses and believe this promise. But, sometimes I wonder if it is possible to develop such complete trust without going through the hardest of times.
I hope you have a good rest tonight and pray you will feel peace and direction in the days ahead.
Love, Sussa
Weezy, Thanks for expressing your thoughts. For myself, I feel I have trust and faith in the Lord, but it's me I don't have trust and faith in. I'm not sure I can be what I need to be to get through the difficult times the Lord gives me. I'm not sure I'm learning what I should be learning. The scripture Suzy quoted is my favorite, especially the "lean NOT unto thine own understanding". You are strong in faith - one of the strongest people I know - the hard part, as you said, is the not leaning and wanting to direct the path. You are doing great and have to remind yourself you do have cancer and there is a reason it is so feared. I love you and admire you, and you are always in my prayers. Forgive me this mish-mash of a post. It is meant to encourage you not confuse you. :) Love, Lindy Lou
ReplyDeleteLouise,
ReplyDeleteYou are not alone in the struggle for patience, trust and faith. I know I often feel the same. I admire you so much and I do know that you have remarkable faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. He is aware of your trials. Thank you for your courage! Continue to cling to hope. Do what you can and let the rest go for now. Take good care of yourself. I'm still praying for you!!
With love,
Annie