No Doctors--No News!

Hello everyone! I'm not sure what to write today, since today I have done NOTHING. Well, that's not totally true--I went out to lunch with my son, Brian, and a good friend. I also went on a very short walk with my dog--by the way he and I are totally exhausted by the end, you would think we went long distances...but we just both love to nap, I guess.

I am still experimenting with my feeding tube. Yesterday, I started worrying that I wsn't getting enough liquids...so I decided to drink a lot more water today. That usually is never a problem for me, but since swallowing has gotten a little harder, it is not my first choice for an activity. SO I took my feeding tube, flushed it out with a large cup of water (of course that is flushing me out as well as the tube), then added the not-so-yummy Carnation Instant Breakfast (it would be easier to drink if it were chocolate, but it's not), with water halfway through and then more water at the end. I put a TON of water in there. After barely making it through (and this was just through my feeding tube), I came and laid my head on the kitchen table. My son was worried about me--but I was just so terribly full and felt like that girl in the old "Willy WOnka and the Chocolate Factory" movie who was purple and got blown up so big. I felt THAT grotesque! Needless to say, I ruined the whole purpose for drinking which was to have more water in me...and have felt full the rest of the day.

Tomorrow I meet with the radiologist, to make sure my radiation "map" is accurate. We saw the chemo room where I'll have chemo (that was a couple of days ago), and it looked pretty comfortable--several easy chairs, places for you to hook up DVDs, laptops, etc. I think it will all become more real to me when I start on Monday.

We have gotten lots of cookies and desserts. WHY are we getting yummy stuff like that when I can't eat them? I am the dessert eater around here. My kids will have it one time, but it is my job to pick at it and eat it the rest of the day. They leave and go off to school, or just don't feed at the trough like I do--so who's going to eat all those great things? We have been brought a ton of food--our frig is so full that you can hardly open it. I need to open it up and bring some homeless people in here and feed them. People are way too generous!!

I am feeling some pain both in my chest and back. Of course, now that I know I have a tumor, I think I feel the pain more--just because I'm aware of it. I used to think it was just the normal aches and pains of getting old (and it probably is), but now I have something to blame it on. We don't like this tumor--the plan is to get it out COMPLETELY. Thanks for joining our fight to totally eradicate (big word, huh?) that dreaded word--CANCER. Love to you all, Louise