Let Go...and Let God

Last night I was just on my way out of the grocery store, when I saw a friend who had just found out my news. She, of course, wanted to hear more, and we talked about my experience. It was a very tender conversation, and of course, it turned to faith and the power of God. With all we are trying to do, we still need to do like she said, "Let go...and Let God." It was so nice to visit with her--suddenly the really important things in life DO become the most important...at least, for a while.

Well, I'm sure you're all waiting to hear about MORE doctor's appointments. I went to 3 yesterday...and by the end I was totally wiped out. The last appointment was with the chemo nurse. She had so much information to give out, that it was just overwhelming...plus she talked REALLY fast. She had a ton of stuff for me to read. It is scary to hear all the possible side effects of chemo and radiation...plus the medicines you'll have to take, and trying to keep it all straight in your mind. She could tell she was overwhelming me so she said she would hurry and finish. That meant she talked for practically another hour--2 hours of hearing about chemo effects, yucky medicines to take, and things that I felt like I had to remember. I broke down after that, wondering how I am ever going to do this...then it was time for family hugs, and reassurances from my kids and Spence that yes, I COULD do this. I even have recovered enough this morning to actually READ some of that stuff about chemo. She showed us the room where I will have chemo--they make it as comfortable as possible, with easy chairs, and places to plug in your laptops or DVD players or Ipods...or whatever. This nurse, Sue, was also funny--I love having these people with humor. You'd HAVE to have a sense of humor or you wouldn't survive working with all those cancer patients.

I also had my PICC line put in--I could tell you what those initials stand for...but you would never remember anyway! It is a line so that they can take your blood and give you the chemo. It goes from your elbow (about) to just above your heart. As we were getting ready to do this, they would say reassuring things like, "If you feel some weird feeling in your heart, we may have gone too far." I was not put out, but was in a room with these 3 nurses, who were lots of fun...and talked about how this was a party, and they were all in their party clothes. They were basically nuts, but I'm glad there are people around willing to add some levity to this whole process. :)
They told me that it would take about 20-25 minutes to put it in--I was in that room for almost an hour. I even got to see my PICC line on a TV, and see where it actually goes in my body. I am looking better and better every day--with lines and tubes coming out of me. Katie and Brian went to buy me a shirt with 3/4 length sleeves...so not everybody has to see all my apparatus. They told me I was a good patient--I think, just because I didn't keep moving, like some of their patients do. It's hard to put a line in your veins, when the person won't hold still. I now get to have my arm mummified in Saran Wrap when I shower so I don't get infection.

At 8:30 yesterday morning we went down to the Piper Cancer Center by Spence's office...and I got a cat scan, so they can map out my radiation. That was very quick--done in about 15 minutes.

This afternoon I have a doctor's appointment with my primary care doctor...and then Spence and I are going to the temple. I am so excited that I can go--I have been longing to go there ever since I got this diagnosis. I need the peace, comfort and strength that I'll find there. Anyway, it's nice to have a morning off from seeing doctors--maybe I could do something so mundane as clean the kitchen--what a thought!