Last night Spence wrote a very thorough description of what is going on. I hope if you have any questions, you'll ask. I'll be sure to ask him and then he'll answer. :) Today was a tough day, not because I felt any more pain or treatments are getting worse--just because I had a melt-down about this whole thing. Sometimes it just hits me (that I am REALLY going through this), and I kind of fall apart. You are all so encouraging--but still it is surreal to me.
I had my 3rd treatment today. Still the radiation is going all right. I am tired, but again I'm not sure that that is related to the treatments or if I'm just pampering myself. I do take it easier, just so that I can have energy to do what I need to do. (actually at times like this you realize that there is very little you really HAVE to do). I tried to do some work around the house today, but would rest in between doing things. I have 3 very protective sisters who want to make sure that I am taking care of myself. Instead of having my mother around, I have these great sisters who "mother" me a lot. :)
I got to officially sign up for an exercise program, and worked with the cancer personal trainer (only way I would probably ever get a personal trainer!) to set up a program. He just had me get on some different machines--a treadmill, a bicycle, and then a machine that works both your arms and legs (not an elliptical). I also did some step-up things, and some squats. I worked out for almost 45 minutes, and it felt great. I get so hot when I exercise, but he is quick to position the fan so it blows on me just right. Tomorrow I'll be there for a long time because of the chemo (could be 3 or 4 hours), and so I won't work out probably on the chemo day...but other days I will.
I have some terrible eating habits. I still try to eat things that are solid...just to get some variation of tastes in my mouth. Today Kelsey made cinnamon rolls, and I was determined to get one of those down. Little by little (eensy, teensy bites) along with water to wash them down, I DID eat the whole thing. I still am taking the gag-me-royal aloe vera juice. I truly do hate it. I try to take it in the morning so I don't have to think about it for the rest of the day...but like today it is almost 9:00, and I haven't taken it. I will have nightmares if I take it now...so don't tell my nutritionist that I didn't take it. If I suffer through a burning throat with an inability to swallow, we'll blame it all on the fact that it is so hard to take aloe vera juice.
I also am having to eat many of the mothering words. One thing I coudln't stand as my kids were growing up, was BURPING. I hated it--I thought it was rude and obnoxious, and VERY poor manners. Now, because I have this feeding tube, and a very narrow passageway in my esophagus (at some places I have NO passageway), I burp all the time. I make myself sick. My kids laugh and tell me I'm a big hypocrite for not practicing what I've always preached. I'm sure there are many more times I will eat my words and do things that have always disgusted me. There is no justice in this at all.
Well, friends, loved ones, etc. I DO love you all. Thanks for keeping up with my blog, and for writing me...and for keeping in touch. I know I'm not in this alone--what a blessing that is!! Good Thursdays to you all, Louise
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