Saturday, August 18, 2012

So Hard to Let Them Go

I just said good-by to my daughter, Kelsey, who is leaving to go back up to school at BYU. This is one of the hardest parts of mothering for me--when my children leave to go back to where they live. I hate good-byes anyway, and I feel like part of my heart goes with them every time--it leaves a big void. It is especially hard this time because I have really enjoyed having Kelsey around this summer. She is an unusually thoughtful and caring person, and so when she goes, I can really feel it. It leaves a huge emptiness. I have been crying on and off for the last few days, in anticipation of her leaving. It is not that I don't want her to have growing experiences--it is more just a selfish feeling, that I am not so much a part of her life when she is I just miss HER as a person. Kelsey has been blessed with the gift of sensitivity, and that really touches my heart. I just pray that she will be watched over, and that she will have an enjoyable time at school. The best part for her being in Utah, is she loves being closer to her sisters, who both live up there. She'll get to spend time with her sister, Emily, for this next week, and I know she really looks forward to that. It's just so hard to let her go. Last night we went to see the movie, "The Odd Life of Timothy Green." For some critics, it is just a sappy movie...but I guess I like sappy movies, and can cry along with the best of them (I have certainly proved that by the way I've taken my daughter leaving for college). But I thought it was a very dear movie, with a good message. I think the thing that touched me the most is at the very end, when he is talking about what his parents had done for him. He said that they had made many mistakes, but that they had always loved him. That really hit home--I know that I have made many mistakes as a parent (not handled things right, gotten angry when I should have been patient, etc.), but one thing I DO know--I love my children, and they mean the world to me...and in spite of my mistakes, I hope they will always know that. Spence and I wanted children for so long, and then we were blessed with 6 wonderful children. I am thankful for them, and pray that they will always know that I love them.

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